Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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