The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
