He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
