Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
