he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
