i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
