it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
