I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
