I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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