we have pet lesbian snakes
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
