Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize