Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
