My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize