My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
