so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
