If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
