True but thats because hes a fetus.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize