Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
