so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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