i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
