...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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