They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
