You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
