i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
