I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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