your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
