He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
