How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
