i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
