it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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