Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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