I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Quick, to the slutcave!
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
