I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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