there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
