I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
