the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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