I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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