I didn't shave. On purpose
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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