but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
