She announced her abortion via fbk
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
