Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize