All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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