hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
