just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
