is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
