I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
