did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
