Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
