Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
