are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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