Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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