Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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