Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
