He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
