I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
