the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
