What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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