I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
