I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
