and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
