just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
