remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
